One of my mantras throughout my life has been to live and love without regret. As with most statistics, the 80/20 principle probably would apply as well to my personal regret factor. Life changing remodels occur in a variety of ways.
It was the mid 90s and we finally owned a home that my husband had dreamed of owning for most of his life. We had purchased this house from a close relative and set down the path of making it ours and creating the dream home – little did we realize how it would be our life changing remodel. To give you a little background; my husband’s training was in design and he loves creating beauty. He is also very good at it.
As we looked at the master plan of this project, we decided to tackle the oldest looking issues of the property. We began with the yard. One would think you could do this inexpensively but we had grand ideas. If you have ever watched those design shows that illustrate how starting one project leads to another project that describes the situation perfectly. Instead of planting a few bushes here and removing a tree there; we ripped out 30-year-old shrubs that were the retaining wall for our house on the hill and lowered the yard in some of the areas over a foot to ease the occasional flooding from sprinklers or rainwater.
This landscaping project was a large financial and time investment. It looked beautiful when we were done and we enjoyed the new, young look of our yard and large outdoor entertainment area. Through this experience we involved our children to pull weeds and rip out brick walkways. They dreaded Saturday mornings as we would get up and out early to take advantage of the daylight.
At the same time as our landscape project we ripped up wool carpet and refinished hardwood floors in the main living space. This home was about a 4,000 square foot home. At one point I hired a painter to come in and paint; however, because my husband is a perfectionist, he redid the entire project that we had paid good money to have completed. Again, at the end of the day, it was beautiful and very enjoyable to live in. After finishing this project, we then decided to look at building a home and put our home on the market. We had at one point a very interested buyer but they decided to live closer to their children. So, we took the home off the market. We loved this home. We had put hard work, money and emotion into the four walls.
A couple of years passed, and you guessed it we decided to start updating again. In fact, in the time that we lived in this home we had undergone a total of 5 major remodeling projects and a sum of money that could have purchased two homes in the area. We realized when we attempted to sell our home that we were the biggest home in the neighborhood and that was a disadvantage in selling. We decided that we might as well create the home we desired and continue to go all out.
All out is definitely what we did. After putting another substantial investment into our latest remodel, we enjoyed and added on a master bathroom and closet suite, updated guest bathrooms, remodeled staircase, remodeled bedrooms and an updated family room. This period was short lived; however, and as they say, “life happens” (this is a “G” rated article). Financial calamity hit and our income was reduced by half. We did not know what to do.
Needless to say, the inevitable happened and we lost this dream and closed the door on one of the biggest mistakes (or lessons depending on the view) in our lives.
Because the human spirit is strong and I was taught that when one door closes a window opens, we were open to change and watched and welcomed it as it blew our way.
We downsized for a period of time to get back on our feet. Employment changes also occurred. In reality we took large steps back and down, but still in the end we took a step. Last but not least we surrendered to God that we would look at other opportunities to grow and go where we were needed.
That humble attitude took us 2800 miles from family and friends but what a blessing this mistake has resulted in. So many blessings, that it is hard to keep track of them all.
What did we learn? The biggest lesson was that a material possession is just a thing, and people and relationships are what counts. We learned we went way overboard in investing emotion into a home and that we should have strategized more and sold the home with minor repairs (“lipstick” if you will). We also learned that when purchasing a home, we should never have bought from a relative. Dynamics in a business relationship are often strained when dealing with relatives and the concern for how the relative would feel should not be a factor in a business relationship. Finally, we learned that we should have a plan, whether or not the whole plan gets implemented or not. By planning you can forego a lot of mistakes and prepare for the future.
It has become a personal mission for me that whenever possible I need to share my voice with others in educating them on how one decision effects so many other areas of their lives and that achieving clarity is paramount to their success. I also want to impress that if you can laugh at yourself, the challenges and mistakes that will happen can be bearable and you can deal with changes and disappointments as they occur.
My biggest mistake, “not selling” also turned out to be one of the greatest lessons in my life and in the end, I would not trade what I have learned. Opposition in all things is where we find what we are made of and where we have the opportunity to grow and learn.
I hope that my mistake will be something that you can learn from. Here’s to your growth and development!