Category Archives: Life Coaching

Uncover the Incredible You!

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uncover the incredible you

Do you realize how incredible you are? Perhaps you have forgotten. Just for a few minutes we are going to focus on you. All 75 trillion cells that make up the “incredible you.” Let’s UNCOVER!

When you hold a child for the first time aren’t you astounded at the beauty and possibility in that tiny body? Why is it that when we are children we have no limits on our imaginations of what we can do or who we will be?

As adults, we must acquire those childlike attributes again if we are to ever accomplish our deepest dreams and desires.

Words, such as faith, confidence and vision are all powerful words. They are only words if we don’t put them into action.

How many of you set goals at the beginning of a new year? How many of you have accomplished some of those goals already?

Often times, our past impacts our future steps.

There was a young girl born into poverty to a single mother. This young girl was raped at age nine and became pregnant at age 14 and the baby died in infancy. This woman could have let her past records of being a victim and succumbing to the attitude of “this must be my lot in life.” But she did not. In fact, this woman is worth over 2.7 billion dollars today. This woman, if you haven’t already guessed is Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah could have let her past impact what she could have potentially become. She didn’t just survive life she put it behind her and thrived. She is an incredible example of uncovering her potential.

What is your potential? Have you given up on it? Are you exploring what exactly “it” is?

There is a scripture in the New Testament of the Holy Bible in 2nd Timothy Chapter 1 verse 7 which reads: “For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.”

We have it within each one of us the potential to do and be an incredible power and force for good. You may have already begun to see that in your life. I truly hope so.

Each of us is born beautiful. We are! Remember when you see and hold a newborn – what it is you feel? As life unwinds for each of us, we may forget about the beauty within.

I have a wonderful friend that I knew many years ago named Susan. One evening we were together with a bunch of other beautiful and incredible women at a book club sleepover in the mountains at one of the member’s cabin in the high mountains of Utah. The conversation turned to how we viewed ourselves individually. I remember Susan declaring that she was not beautiful nor did she think she was and was “ok” with that. One of the other women made the comment about Susan’s daughters and how beautiful they are. She asked Susan “don’t you think your daughters are beautiful?” Susan answered “absolutely” – they look just like her. Even with all the convincing we tried, we could not get Susan to see the beauty that she has.

This experience haunted me. It made me realize that what we think or perceive is very important to our ability to experience joy, happiness and success. We have the power within our mind to change our reality. Our perception is our reality. What do you perceive about you? If you want to change your reality – then change your perception.

Some of you may be happy with the way your lives are going. That is wonderful! Think about why that is. What do you find about your life that gives you joy? Is it your family? How about your health? Could it be your work? Those avenues in your life that create a foundation for you to thrive such as an Oprah Winfrey are those anchors that you can hold on to when waves of disappointment, frustration or trial occur. When you look at others who you think have uncovered their full potential you may believe that they have it made and don’t experience any problems.

One thing that I continue to learn as each year passes is that we all have our own individual set of problems and issues. We have a choice, whether or not to let them define us or to greet them head on.

A very dear friend was telling me about an exercise that he recently went through. He mapped out where and what he wanted to be not in five years from now but started from the potential end of his life. He started at age 100 then worked back to the age he is now. This exercise was powerful because it puts into focus what is most important. Whether or not we achieve what we lay out is not as important as the process itself.

We may have a tendency to let life just happen to us rather than taking life by the steering wheel and driving the journey to where we want to go.

This potential is in each one of us.

You are each incredible individuals. You are destined for greatness. You each have a mission that only you can perform.

Any time you forget about how incredible you are – think about your why, think about your legacy; then go and do the impossible. For your journey is the possible just waiting to happen.

True Joy

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True Joy

Where do you find the most joy? What is joy to you? I am not referring to happiness. Happiness is a piece of joy. True joy typically involves another person besides us. Because of our inherent need to feel accepted, we need to have positive relationships with others.

You have probably heard it said that you have to give in order to get. But what about the principle of just giving, (what I will refer to in this article as charity)? What is charity? Do you know others that possess charity? What makes you drawn to that person? Let’s explore these questions, and through that exploration be able to find the secret to charity.

In Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary charity is described as the following: benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity. The alternate description is: lenient judgment of others. Supreme charity is not an act but a condition or state of being.

Now that we have defined charity there are probably individuals that come to your mind. This state of being helps you endures all things. It is not easily provoked and it is patient. By exemplifying this trait we will attract goodness and prosperity into our lives. Let me share an example of one of the individuals in my life that continues to be someone that carries this enduring trait.

Her name is Anita. She was raised in a small town out west and grew up in a small family. She probably became a charitable person due, in large part, to the example of her mother. Anita has always given individuals the benefit of the doubt in her dealings with them. She has been patient when those closest to her have disappointed her. She has opened her home to strangers from different lands when it wasn’t convenient for her to do so.

She thrived professionally because she understood that her co-workers were human and that love and patience will make us all successful in the end. Because of her charitable nature, she attracted others to her. We all like to do business with people we like and who we feel truly likes us. Lastly, she has shared her mental, physical, emotional and financial resources to help others through their time of need or to help them achieve their goals.

I have seen Anita forgive others that have used or abused her, and in return she has loved and cared for them in very personal ways. I am grateful to have her as someone I can look to as an example. We all need these individuals in our lives. They give us hope, and teach us that goodness is within all of us.

By being charitable we purge ourselves of selfishness. I believe by ridding ourselves of selfishness, we are able to be more open to what life has to offer us and the opportunities that are there to capitalize and experience joy. If we are closed and don’t give, we limit our potential to achieve our goals and reach the success we dream of. With this trait we are able to expand our network.

It has been stated that successful individuals are “go givers.” They look for opportunities to give of themselves and their resources. They understand that true joy comes in giving. Why do the holidays bring out the best in everyone? Some would argue that they have become so commercialized, but I would argue that in the end people feel good because they are losing themselves in the thoughts and actions of serving others.

Charity is not the trait of someone who lets themselves be walked on or taken advantage of. Some people probably would associate charity as being weak. I disagree. It takes a strong individual who can find the good in every experience in life and the lesson to be learned.

In business, the opportunity to show charity can have long lasting effects and implications. How could you show more charity in your work? First, outline what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior for dealing with all groups such as clients, partners and employees. By developing a code and enforcing it, those who experience your entity will discover that you say what you mean and mean what you say.

By being involved in the community and providing goodwill you will attract more business and true joy in your professional life. Those organizations and individuals that understand the timeless principle that giving is better than receiving are open to change and have the ability to maneuver through trials or upsets.

Giving is one of the ways that we can breathe confidence into our organizational lives. Even as an individual we reap the benefits of giving. I have personally found that when I give, the joys, and often time’s tangible rewards, are tenfold. Being known as a “go giver” will open doors and improve your results in all you attempt to do. True joy is when we lose ourselves in the service of others.

Swallowed Pride

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Swallowed Pride

As I dialed the phone number my heart was racing. This was a phone call I never dreamed I would be making. Swallowing my pride I began to tell my parents the latest news; my family had to move because we had financially taken too much on and we would be losing our home.

That phone called happened over 10 years ago. Now we are living in part of the country that we never thought we would and achieving financial goals that we only dreamed about. When adversity hits us it can be a gift. This gift of swallowed pride can teach us and help us grow.

Thomas S. Monson stated “decisions determine our destiny.” I continue to see this day after day, month after month and through the years that march on. Even the smallest decision can impact what our future brings us. What we can learn from this is that having a plan, and being educated about the consequences of the plan, will help guide our journey.

What do you want your destiny to be? What decisions today are putting that destiny in jeopardy?
Disappointments come, that is a part of life. What we do with the disappointments and how we let them affect us is what develops our character and gives us stories to tell.

I would never have thought 10 years ago that I would be living in a warm climate, which my personality and temperament thrives in. I watched as my family grew closer, my marriage was saved and my career exploded all due to something at the time I was judging as a misfortune. The human tendency is to ask, “why me?” but if we can turn that around and pursue “what can I learn from this?” instead, then we grow and are strengthened.

There is a brighter tomorrow and by putting pride aside we will discover more about ourselves and our world then we could ever have imagined.

Passion for Life

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My Mother taught me how to live a passionate life.
Passion comes in many shapes and sizes. When you hear the word passion, you may automatically picture your relationship or a visual may be created in your mind. If you were sitting with a therapist and he or she asked you to respond through word association you might blurt out a hobby or your work. Perhaps a material item would be the first word you would utter. Passion is unique to each one of us.

Here are five questions that I would like you to give some thought to. If you grab a pen and paper and write down your answers you will be able to apply an individual message:

1. What comes to your mind when you hear the word passion?
2. What do you have passion for?
3. How would passion help you achieve your goals?
4. Who is someone in your life that exudes passion and what can you learn from them?
5. What are some things you can do to help reignite passion for those areas in your life that are most important to you?

Some may believe that they are passionless, that life is a routine. I would challenge that thought and pose the question of what brings about a smile or a lightness to your heart? That is the beginning seed of passion.
I have gone through cycles in my life where I exuded more passion for something or someone. Typically I can think about what triggered that increase. When I identify that trigger I can recreate it to experience that deeper passion that I desire.

I love observing individuals who show passion for their work. I am blessed to work with such incredible human beings. I will never forget participating in a worldwide conference where I was able to observe the leaders of my organization present to a group of 20,000 individuals. They radiated an intensity and passion for life as they participated in the conference and as they listened to each other present. Such intensity or passion has been the success of these individuals.

There may be some things in your life or business that may be drudgery. However, if you can focus your energy on those things you have passion for the balance of your life will be filled with more of the things you desire. We attract those things we think about. If you are not happy with something, take the steps to change it.

The secret to life is passion and living in the moment.

The Extra Mile

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The Extra Mile

The Extra Mile

A colleague and I were meeting in my office and he made a comment about a plaque hanging on the wall. This plaque has a doorknob protruding out from it and he asked what the story was behind the doorknob. This question brought a smile to my face as I recounted to him why and how I was presented with this honor.

This doorknob is a relic from a historical hotel in Cincinnati, Ohio. The beautiful hotel hosted several past United States presidents and Hollywood actors such as Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, The Beatles, and a multitude of others throughout the years. The reason they gave me this beautiful recognition plaque was because I was involved in bringing a new revenue stream to their already successful organization.

As I shared this story, my memory was reignited about the incredible service our group received while staying there. It all started when I entered my suite.

The General Manager would be labeled today as a “Servant Leader.” We will cover that term and what it all entails in next week’s issue. As I entered my suite after a long travel day, he was actually doing some last minute touch-up vacuuming and overseeing my arrival.

In all the travel that I have done throughout my years, this was a first! We soon came to understand that this was not a first for him or this organization. At every turn whenever we needed something they delivered, and if they could not deliver they would let us know and offer alternatives. He especially was very good at anticipating our needs. While discussing logistics on a daily basis he would hover closely and really listen to what we were saying to see if his organization could go the extra mile.

That week was one of the most enjoyable experiences in my professional life. The entire organization was courteous, respectful and discreet as they performed their individual roles. It made me contemplate how they made this a part of their culture and how they instilled in new employees this value of great service.

It obviously started at the top and was expected of everyone in his or her respective role. I asked this General Manager about how they handled those who did not comply. He told me they exercised discipline with their performance evaluation and feedback system. Individuals were warned and if the expectation was not met they were fired. I have often thought back on that conversation.

What can you take away from this experience? I learned that if I expect certain behaviors from those individuals in my life that I lead, whether it is professionally or personally, I must set the tone and the example. We can also take away that discipline is key to success. How often do we let things go or rationalize people’s behavior? Perhaps if we start expecting exceptional service we will start to see that happening time and time again in our lives.

Is it hard to go the extra mile? Not really, if you expend just a little more effort, the rewards could potentially be tripled, if not more. Others may or may not see your efforts, but deep inside you will know that you were true to your internal compass. That will breed happiness and peace throughout your life. May you have the courage to push yourself to go the extra mile and enjoy the results of your labors!

Service and Chopsticks

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What do chopsticks have to do with service? Chopsticks

Last week we explored elements of a positive service experience for both the giver and the receiver. Today I was pondering how you would teach good service to an employee or an individual that you are trying to mentor even if that person has never good experienced service before.

It would be hard for them to deliver exceptional service if they had not experienced exceptional service before. They would not know what to do when confronted with the different types of service scenarios that could occur, so there would be a disconnect or missing link for that individual.

One great way of teaching is leading by example. One way to get your students to learn is to get them to teach you. While eating lunch with chopsticks one day I was contemplating this learning by teaching and it reminded me of a personal experience when I thought I would never be able to learn, as I had instructor after instructor try to teach me.

The story goes like this – I was raised on an Idaho farm and ranch. I spent my summer competing in rodeo events, driving cattle and pulling weeds in the sugar beet fields. Eating out was a true luxury because the nearest town was a good distance away and I have five brothers and two sisters. When we did eat out, it was typically a hamburger stand.

On very special occasions my parents would go to a Chinese restaurant that was 50 miles away. A few of us kids got to attend a couple of those occasions and because I was naïve to the tastes of different ethic foods, I always opted for the one “American” dish on the menu. After one of those dinners, I remember my Mom serving some of the leftovers and I thought I would try a bite and you guessed it, I was hooked! Oriental food and all its varieties now happen to be one of my favorite foods. I love to cook them, smell them, and lastly eat them!

As I moved away from home and started my adult life I was traveling all over the country and when I would have oriental food the people I was with or the wait staff at the restaurant would try to teach me how to use chopsticks. This went on for twelve years. Every new person that I had oriental food with would try to teach me their way of using chopsticks.

One evening I was dining alone and sitting at a Sushi Bar and got into a conversation with a gentleman about chopsticks, he said: “Linda, just pick them up in your hand, don’t think about it, and practice picking up the larger pieces.” I tried, missed, tried several more times and finally as time went on, I was eating with chopsticks and today can even pick up a grain of rice.

What does this teach us? First off, when you have experienced something that someone is trying to teach you, and you try their way exactly you may not ever get it right. You may find that with applying your own unique style, your outcome is the same or perhaps better when a variation on the skill was implemented. Also, we learn that we each are given innate hardware.

Even if we have never experienced great service in our lives, the ability to give great service can be learned and can be delivered with our own style and signature. The best way to learn something is to teach it – so with those you lead or have stewardship over get them to teach you what great service is to them and they will deliver far above your expectations.

We are born with a birthright to succeed that applies to giving great service and even learning how to use chopsticks!

No Pain – No Gain

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALet’s face it we are in the midst of challenging times. Uncertainty lies in every corner. Some would believe that there is no hope. No hope for tomorrow or hope for our children. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.

Now that you are feeling depressed, what do you think? What do you feel deep down inside of you? Do you believe there is no hope and that all is lost? Maybe you have experienced in your life occasions where you felt this sense of despair. What did you do to bring yourself through that dark personal corner? If you are in that place right now, do you have what it takes to pull yourself through?

Challenging times can be a gift if we have a full perspective. As you think through experiences in your life and/or business, think about the times when you believed or thought you couldn’t make it through another day. Can you see now because you went through that difficulty you are stronger and better prepared to face the next storm?

There is a saying that is used in many contexts, “no pain no gain.” We need opposition in all things. Opposition is actually a gift. It can be one of our greatest gifts if we let it. How do you maintain hope? First let’s define hope. What is it? Webster defines hope as to cherish a desire with anticipation and to expect with confidence. Dieter F. Uchtdorf once wrote, “Hope is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us.”

How do we keep hope alive? A seed that we plant will never take root if we ignore or neglect the seed. That is true within a variety of areas in our lives. What do you do? I would love to hear and learn from you. Let me share some of my thoughts.

1. List out all the things that are good in your life. Starting or maintaining a gratitude journal can keep you going in the right direction.

2. Turn off the negativity. If you continually bombard your mind with the negativity around you, it will pull you down. It will de-energize your spirit. If you find yourself in negative conversations or around individuals that dwell on the negativity in their own lives – try to gracefully remove yourself from the situations. You don’t need it!

3. Set goals. If you are always looking to the future it can only help to breed hope. If you have never gone through this formal process, start today by writing down at least five goals you would like to achieve in the near future. You will be amazed as you look back at this list and realize that most, if not all, items were achieved. Then when you are faced with another trial in your life, reflect on those goals that you have achieved in the past and it will continue to inspire you even in dark days.

4. Laugh a good belly laugh at least once a day. It is amazing how this will clear your mind, improve your outlook and work your abs at the same time! I believe we all need to laugh more!

5. Believe. One day when I went to work years ago, and sitting on my desk was a beautiful polished rock engraved with this word. It has stood as a reminder to me that when life gets dark – just believe. With that belief, more hope and more faith will naturally result.

A childhood story and one that I have read throughout the years to my children is, “The Little Engine Who Could.” This little engine is faced with a big hill to climb and very slowly and with trepidation starts moving up the hill. All the time telling itself, “I think I can, I think I can.” As more momentum takes place this little engine is more confident and “I think I can” becomes to feel stronger and is louder when eventually the little engine states I know I can. Belief, faith, and hope then result into knowledge then finally success.

Like all great leaders, Abraham Lincoln, Julius Caesar, and Gandhi, they have risen above adversity and despair. They have persevered and realized their goals and dreams and because they never gave up, they affected the lives of thousands and millions in some cases.

You too can persevere, you too will get through the challenges that life has to offer and with a long range perspective come out as the conqueror. May we all build one another up and cheer one another along our individual paths – by doing so our joy will be rich and rewarding!

No Man (or Woman) Is An Island

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Island

For years I had heard this phrase and didn’t think much about it. Then one day a very close relative made a choice with his life that had a ripple effect. I then understood this very profound phrase and have reflected upon it often.

What we do or do not do affects those around us and involved in our lives and business. There are hard working and smart individuals who with sheer will alone can do amazing things. However, the power of two or more is when the ROE occurs. What is ROE? It is Return On Energy.

The trick is to find those partners or team members who we feel that energy electrified. We don’t have to go it alone. Partnering with an individual or an organization can help us move to the next level.

Here are some tools to identify a good fit:

1. Share the same principles. It will serve you in the long run. Research and securing references will guide you in the decision of whom to joint venture with or not.

2. Determine if they are a competitor, or can a synergistic relationship occur? Often times combining forces with a competitor will help you both succeed in the long run.

3. Add complimentary services or products to your business. Selecting those joint ventures where it makes business, marketing and even branding sense will pave the wave of opportunity for you.

4. Implement effective communication strategies. Communication will be the secret to a positive relationship. Constant follow up and discussed strategic planning will move your combined goals and efforts along the path to success.

5. Set goals and milestones. If you plan your goals and set milestones you will be able to measure whether the joint venture was successful.

It is hard to trust others when you have experienced a bad situation. Doing your due diligence ahead of time will help prevent potential pitfalls or disappointments. Sometimes saying no to proposed opportunities are the best course of action. It pays to be picky.

As you are selecting partners look for individuals or groups who have strengths that you are missing and that you have identified would help your business grow. By doing this you will be creating a win-win solution and your ROE will be intensified.

The same holds true for personal relationships. Creating a complimentary team where all stakeholders feel invested, supported and affirmed will produce a positive and successful outcome.

Your decisions and path will affect many lives. By being strategic you can chart an excellent future no matter what had occurred in the past. That is the beauty of a new day!